27 feb. 2014

Farbod Einaly Tabrizi - om att vara ateist i Iran

Ateism kan vara en fråga om liv och död om man råkat födas i fel land. Här är en berättelse av Farbod Einaly Tabrizi, ursprungligen från Iran men nu boende i Turkiet, som han via Facebook bett mig vidareförmedla till en större läsekrets.
*Slapped me on the chick, he shout on my ears, “How dare you say there is no God?”
-“I … I …”
“Do not even say a word, just shut up, for sure you are one your maternal family, i must call your father, he was right from the beginning.”
-“Please … No … He would kill me …” “Just you shut up, your mind is sick, kind of sickness that will spread among others and … and your father is a known man, a religious known man … your father always says that …”
-I tried to say something, “I am …”
“I just told you to shut up, you have no place here, you are not a human, because of advertising this things they will kill you, you must ask forgiveness. You are ruining mind of other students here.”
*I really wanted to run away from there. He did not even let me speak, even a one word. I thought all the world is falling on my head. It was even hard to imagine what my father would say me, what teasing words he would say. I only remembered the last time, when he smacked me and granted me to stay at home and all these happened in front of my friends eyes, just remembering this memory make me sick.
*He was still speaking to me and this time with a calmer tone he said, “You are a good boy, even good in education but what is the results of all these? Your words are your problems, really, what is your problem? You are a silent boy and you just start to speak and challenging God’s existence, and the result is that your place in hell!!! I must call your father; you put me in a position that I have no other option.”
“Alo? Mr. Tabrizi? Hi, how are you in the realm of God? I am moderator of your son’s school … there is an important issue that I must speak with you about it.”
-“Sir … Please … I beg you … he would kill me …”
“Just be silent. I am sorry I was not with you; you must come here to school. You have no time? But this is your son… your son would be banish from this school.... I warned you before … we must put him out of school … you have no problem with that?... It is not important for you?... Ok, you know yourself Mr. Tabrizi … have a good day. “Idiot … you just stay out of office … wait … where is your mother? We have no phone number from her!”
-“Not here.”
“Not here? What do you mean by that?”
-“She is not here. She had gone.”
“I would call your brother right now. We are going to banish you from this school.”
-“But I am …”
“Be silence!”
*That day nobody understand what is in my mind… I just cried, I was thinking about my brother, about my mother, if they introduce me to officials they would put me on Death for reason of fighting with God … I was such an idiot, why I speak aloud about my ideas? Why I just cannot sit silence? Why I just cannot say YES? It was my bad dreams of seeing me hanged and all my family gathering there, my mother crying and… oh! *Just if I could be silence, like others and expects everything without questions… oh if God was real and world was calm, if I just could be like others…
“Farbod? What happened? What did you tell them this time?”
-“Farzad I am sorry, this time they were talking about birds stoning army in Mecca.”
“And what did you done?”
-“I just asked them if God can do such a thing why he is not stopping things like earthquakes that ruin mecca several times and forced Arabs to remake it.”
-“Farbod again you ruin everything, why cannot you be silent? What’s your problem? Ah! Why your eyes are red? What happened to your face? Fuck this country and fuck this government … I do not want you stay here, this wasn't a place for you from the beginning … with that father that cares nothing and you are just 17 … you are so intelligence and passed the exams to go to genius schools but he is not paying for that school and so this is a government school that banishing you and that’s out mother that runs from that home… I am just tired too, just wait I must speak with our aunt. And be man, clean your tears, and believe me, this is not a place for you.”
*Farzad was always kind to me, he is more than a brother to me, he is my friend, even while we were fighting… it was just my mother remained for me… I was not aim to put them in any kind of trouble.
“Hello my lovely son.”
*From his teasing tone I understand that there must be something happening. I was so frightened in that moment.
“I have a surprise for you, just come and take it…”
-“What is this?”
He just become angry and told me, “It is an order from court. I could not make you human; maybe they can do something about it. Just go and ask for forgiveness.”
*All my body was so cold … I could not stop my tears … I just crying … I was feeling that I am ruining from inside … hanging … my family … my brother … my mother … oh, my mother … After a few moments my aunt comes to me, “Farbod …” I could not answer, I was so frightened I could not talk a word in that moments.
“I know everything … do not tell anything …”
-“I am …”
“Shhhhhhh … we prepare everything, take these… just right now go to this address, they will help you …”
-“Aunty I …”
“Shhhhh, do not say anything, your father is out just go right now before he imprison you again … just believe in God …”
-“You helped me, I believe in you…”
“You start again?! This is not a time for these words … just go …”

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